Day #1

So, inspired by the recently release movie Julie & Julia, in which a 20-something young woman decides to, day by day, tackle Julia Child's French cookbook recipes, I would like to engage in something similar with a publication called This Book Will Change Your Life. Apparently, for every day, the book assigns the reader to do something he or she normally wouldn't think of doing. Like one day, the book instructs you to throw away something important or meaningful; it could be a Barbie or a magnet or a clump of hair from your first boyfriend, whatever. Another day the person is told to cut out this red sign in the book that says "Out of Order," tape it somewhere interesting an observe what happens.


Not trying to be narcissistic by expecting that any of you will actually tune in, but I consider myself a mildly decent articulator and I think you might be entertained, or provoked, at the very least. I will try and post something every day so that, if you choose, you can follow along and hopefully someone will catch on to my genius idea and want to publish my observations in 45 languages spanning all 7 continents.

Dreaming big,
Stephanie

P.S. All of you need to get blogs too because they're fun and, let's face it, some of you are bored at work with little other stimulation than the occasional flatulence that can be heard from 6 cubes away.



OK so day ONE of This Book Will Change Your Life. The instructions for today read:
"As this is your first day, you should warm up with an easy task that will only change your life a little bit. Choose one of the following options:

1. Do one press-up. (Don't know what that is)
2. Perform a striptease...in private.
3. Triple-tie your shoelaces. (It's summer so I didn't wear any shoes with laces today)
4. Learn to play Chopsticks on the piano. (Already know how)
5. Increase your typing speed by 3 words per minute.
6. Jaywalk in a pedestrian zone. (Did that already...$130 pedestrian violation ticket later...)
7. Set all your clocks to exactly the right time. (Who can tell, especially when POPCORN is now disconnected?)
8. Whisper a white lie when no one's listening. (What's the point?)
9. Fantasize about your partner.
10. Use a different thickness comb. (Haven't combed my hair in 6 days so maybe that's a good one)
11. Say 'yo' instead of 'hello.'
12. Hold the phone up to your other ear.
13. Tell someone your middle name. (How do you work that into a conversation?)
14. Try a new sandwich filling.
15. Leave work 5 minutes early. (I already left 25 minutes late)
16. Bookmark a new website.
17. Give your genitalia pet names.
18. Decide which of your toes is the prettiest.
19. Insult an insect. (I can't find one! I live with a neat-freak mother)
20. Go on a one-minute hunger strike.

I've decided to overcomensate and to perform a few of these small life changes because I can accomplish them just by sitting here. My feet hurt too much after work to get up and make a larger effort.

5. Increased my typing speed from a) retyping all of the crap above and b) still feeling like I'm tweaking on crack from a super hectic day at work.
8. "No, of course I didn't notice the upper lip sweat combining with pizza flour to form a paste that resembles the afteraffects of a facial."
9. I come home to find a trail of Chex Mix leading to the bedroom where my man is waiting with wasabi paste and a large pillow of foam bubbles. I love, you, Ryan Reynolds.
16. www.writinganovelin50daysorlesswhilesimultaneouslysearchingforafulltimejobandmoonlightingasawaitress.com
18. The index toe on my right foot. It's very tan and curvy in just the right places.

There, now you try!