Day #4 World Coloring-In Day

The authors somehow fit a map of the entire world onto one page of this 7 inch tall book, leaving me to squint at the names of various unrecognizable countries in this world of ours. Funny how little 9th grade geography one recalls.

The assignment: "Today, work out your globetrotting plans for the rest of your time on earth, and get on the phone with a travel agent (the State Dept. current discourages travel to the following countries: Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea, Turkmenistan, Zimbabwe, and North Yemen). Fill in country to country by color. Green = been there done that. Blue = intend to go there this year. Yellow = intend to go there sometime before I die. Red = Happy never to set foot there in my whole life."

I wish you all could see my pathetic excuse for a map. It looks like it has a bad case of jaundice with all the yellow countries scribbled in. Here's the breakdown:

Green:
US: duh
Canada: road trip with mom, aunt, and grandma in the midst of hormonal 11th grade bitchiness. Not pleasant.
Mexico: Who in CA hasn't been at least to Baja?
Spain: lived there abroad. They like blondes, which I happened to be at the time.
Portugal: One of the friendliest countries I've ever been to.
France: One of the unfriendliest countries I've ever been to.
Italy: I could do chores on the men here (fry an egg on their hot bodies and wash clothes on their abs).
Germany: They like meat, I don't eat it. Also, threw up Jager in my parents' bed here.
Austria: Drove through the Alps and said wat up to Arnold.

Blue:
Nothing. I have every desire, but none of the cash money to jet off anywhere before grad school. Although it would be very romantic...

Yellow:
Here goes...
Alaska: not a country, but Sarah Palin thinks being governor here makes her qualified enough to run ours.
Brazil
Argentina: most beautiful accents in the world.
Chile: skiing.
Costa Rica
Cuba: just to piss of the US.
Iceland: Bjork is from there! They always produce interesting folk it seems. Not any one type.
England
Ireland: land of the ancestors
Sweden: land of the ancestors
Norway
Netherlands: Amsterdam isn't necessarily just for stoners.
Croatia
Greece
Turkey
Israel
Egypt
Morocco: I do have a bracelet from there for which my dad overpaid.
Kenya
Namibia
Botswana
Zimbabwe
S. Africa
India: thanks for all the souvenirs, Dev.
Pakistan
China: although one has to be more specific, I suppose.
South Korea: to visit Yoonki, my personality twin...except he's a conservative gold-digger.
Japan
Thailand: if I ever need a cheap kidney or an STD.
Bali: again not a country, but probably the only place in Indonesia I would go.
Australia: still considering running away from home to live there.
New Zealand

Red:
(all probably self-explanatory)
Iran
Iraq
Afghanistan
Sudan
N. Korea
Ukraine: not really sure why on this one...

These are the countries of the world I have already dominated, those that should be warned of my imminent arrival, and still more that never have to worry about seeing my infamous mug, unless it's to kiss my ass. Just kidding, I'm as neutral as Switzerland (oops, forgot that one!).